Friday, November 29, 2013

Music Therapy III

So I'm in a bad flare right now and listening to my IC Therapy playlist but I have found some new songs to help me get through flares or even my depression and anxiety. This Post will probably be written over several days so hang with me me if things don't add up. Like I said I'm in a bad flare. 

The first song is called "Firework" by Katy Perry.  This song helps you feel a sense of worth. "You don't have to feel like a waste of space You're original, cannot be replaced If you only knew what the future holds After a hurricane comes a rainbow Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow And when it's time, you'll know You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine Just own the night like the 4th of July Cause baby you're a firework Come on, show 'em
what you're worth Make 'em go, oh, oh, oh As you shoot across the sky" Good things tend to follow the bad. I just gotta show people that I believe that I am worth something. I am worthy to live another day. I can NOT be replaced. There is only ONE Kayla Nicole Vaughn with my DNA. I will make it through this rut. Listen to Firework .

The next song is called "Part of Me" by Katy Perry (I'm on a Katy Perry "kick" right now).
I just absolutely love this song. The video suggests its about a girl who stands up to her bf and decides he's not going to rule her life anymore. Well IC, depression, anxiety, and endometriosis are NOT going to rule my life anymore. "You took my light You drained me down But that was then And this is now Now look at me! This is the part of me That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no This is the part of me That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no Throw your sticks and stones, Throw your bombs and blows, But you're not gonna break my soul." IC has drained me emotionally and physically and it took my light, but you know what? I got that light back "I just want to throw my phone away. Find out who is really there for me" There have been so many times I wanted to do this. My disease has shown me that I had some fake friends but I also found out who my true friends are. True friends are rare to find these days. 

The next song is "Perfect" by Pink. This is a wonderful song for anyone going through depression. Just want to share some lyrics that really speak to me.
 "Made a wrong turn Once or twice Dug my way out Blood and fire Bad decisions That's alright Welcome to my silly life Mistreated ,Misplaced, Misunderstood, Miss no way it's all good It didn't slow me down. Mistaken Always second guessing Underestimated Look I'm still around" 
We all have made wrong choices in life. We have all made mistakes. We've all been done wrong but we have to keep out heads up. 
"You're so mean When you talk About yourself, you were wrong Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead" 
We have judge ourselves more than anyone else. I have caught myself calling myself an idiot. I don't deserve that. I not only need to treat others with respect but I need to treat myself with respect too. 
"Pretty, pretty please Don't you ever, ever feel Like you're less than Less than perfect Pretty, pretty please If you ever, ever feel Like you're nothing
Less than perfect"
 I LOVE that chorus. I am perfect in my own little way. God made me this way and God doesn't make mistakes so therefore I am perfect. 

Speaking of  God not making mistakes, the next song is "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga. I don't agree with a lot of this song talks about but some of the lyrics I absolutely love.
 "There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are She said, 'cause He made you perfect, babe So hold your head up, girl and you'll go far Listen to me when I say I'm beautiful in my way 'Cause God makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way Don't hide yourself in regret Just love yourself and you're set I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way, born this way" I was born to have this sickness. God knew I could handle it. There is a saying that goes something like " God will never give you more than you can handle"
 God knows I can handle this. Also I have to learn to love myself because I was born this way and I can't change it. 

The next song is called " I Need You to Love Me" by Barlowgirl. I just want to share all the lyrics to this song and that's all.
 "Why, why are you still here with me? Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself. But it's here I see the truth. I don't deserve You. But I need You to love me, and I, I won't keep my heart from you this time. And I'll stop this pretending that I can somehow deserve what I already have. I need You to love me. I, I have wasted so much time pushing You away from me. I just never saw how You could cherish me, Cause You're a God who has all things and still You want me.  Your love makes me forget what I have been. You're love makes me see who I really am. Your love makes me forget what I have been. And I need You to love me, and I, I won't keep my heart from You this time. And I'll stop this pretending that I can somehow deserve what I already have. I need you to love me."

That's all for this session of Music Therapy. Hope everyone has a good night! 

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