Acceptance

Two years ago, my life changed. It drastically changed for the worse. I was forced to give up my young adulthood years. The years that are supposed to be some of the best years of your life. The years that you meet new friends and possibly the love of your life. The years that are supposed to set you up for success or failure. The years you decided what you want to do for the rest of your life. I should be out right now, having the time of my life instead of posting this. I should be angry. I should be mad because my life was stolen from me. But today in my group, I learned about acceptance. When you have some kind of problem thrown in your face you can either choose to throw a tantrum, be mad about and allow it to ruin your life or you can accept it. Today, I have chosen to accept my disease. I have chosen to live with this disease and try my best along with the help of my doctors to defeat it. Today was a rough day. I was in so much pain and just wanted to give up but I made it to group and I finished out the day and I was able to get an appointment with my specialist( Dr. Childs) and he was able to give me some relief. I got four steroid injections and got an instillment. And he also gave me some medicine to help with pain. I also have been referred to a urologist to help with my care. By no means is he giving up on me. He is just open to suggestions. It's hard to believe I've been struggling with this for two years now. When I was first diagnosed, I was so mad. Why ME? Why this group of diseases? Why NOW? I was so frustrated. But now I know God chose me for a reason. I just don't know what that reason is yet. Maybe it was to bring me closer to Him. Whatever the reason is, He knows I'm strong enough for it. I've accepted that I have these diseases. I have accepted I have a problem with depression and anxiety. I have accepted that I will never be normal again (not that I was normal to begin with). I have accepted that I will probably never be able to drink another Dr. Pepper( I had to give those up again). I have accepted that I will have bad days but I also know that if I work hard for it, the good days will OUTWEIGH the bad days. I can't be down about the past and I can't worry about the future. I need to live one moment at a time.

That's all I have for tonight. I hope everyone has a good night or day whenever you read this. Thank you for your continued support!